[RE/DA/CTED] – due to shareholder interest, we have now automated our theorbo jukeboxes, better fitting our customers need as we maintain our duty to our new partners, [REDACTED]. customers will be happy to know our new algo-rhythm will now pick the selections, ensuring they receive a silence-free experience while recommending new content to ingest. new focus tests show most of our customers cannot tell the difference between a human musical composition and a composition by our patented algo-rhythm, and so our friends at [REDACTED] will be pleased to hear we will be implementing our Algo’s Art AI compositions in our catalogue. due to limitation with the AI, selections will be limited to a maximum of 45” as of today, though we are phasing a rollout of a tiered membership option where we offer increased bandwidth for premium patrons.

[RE/DA/CTED] – due to increased worker shortages, the demand for Sudden Call-in Automated Bard units (S.C.A.B.s) has been on the rise, though customers complain of a certain “roughness around the edges” in between selections.

[RE/DA/CTED] – our prelude customers have been increasingly interested in purchasing memberships, many of them report they are wishing to listen past the initial 30”45” excerpt onto further movements.